Happy Holidays to All..
We're headed into the holiday season and for many this can be a stressful time of the year. How do you officially kick of the season?
Does it begin with October-Fest, and Halloween or do you wait.
Before we know it there are work related parties/dinners, family functions, and stress ridden obligations of divvying up precious time between parents, in-laws, professional associates, and friends. Wow - I'm exhausted just thinking about it.. Are you?
Some folks have chosen to go on vacation during the holidays thereby missing the whole thing! That is a viable option for some but for most of us it would be nice to be able to enjoy the special moments we have with those closest to us.
Want to make this year different?
Before proceeding with the following questions and suggestions, take several deep breaths and give yourself permission to imagine this holiday season as you would like it to be..
Do you believe that you can create a different kind of holiday this year?
If you do - NOW is the time to think about the many options you can choose to make this year less stressful.
Can you reduce the amount of visiting you do?
Can you arrange to video call or Skype with folks this year? That way you can spent a few moments with family and friends from the comfort of your home.
Can you balance your list between obligations that can't be ignored, and fun relaxing activities that will create happy memories?
Who is usually on your list of priorities for time spent with others and why?
Who can you delete from that list because there simply isn't enough time and energy to get to them?
Do you want some down time at home this year? If so how can you create it?
The holidays can be especially scary for family members of people newly in recovery from substance addiction. You have permission to think about these questions and decide whether you want to serve alcohol in your home, or be exposed to people drinking and possibly offering you or your loved one alcohol at other people's homes.
Lets face it - Tis the season to be Jolly - tra la la! BUT you can be jolly and truly joyful this year without drinking.
Some suggestions for solutions many folks have used is to go down your list and drastically decrease the number of holiday functions you will attend this year. Create quiet time at home to share with your immediate family members.
Give yourself permission to say no to obligations and invitations NOW so that you can protect the free, quiet moments you are planning to create this year.
If you will be around alcohol and the drinking activity of others, there is a moment when it becomes very uncomfortable to be present any longer. Discuss and agree with your family or partner that you will plan to leave as soon as you begin feeling it's time to go. Most people decide on a signal beforehand. Or, arrange to take your own car so that you can leave whenever you would like.
If you have children, discuss a family activity that will be fun with your family and plan to do it!
If you don't have children and are single, plan a fun activity with a close friend/s and do it!
What ever you decide to do or not do - remember to engage in every aspect of this Holiday Season on your terms. It is so very important to remain healthy and sober and this may warrant disappointing a few people!
Recovery is not supposed to be about retreating from life, it is about fully participating in the events of your life in a joyful, unafraid, unashamed way.
Please post you comments and questions below.
I will be posting more on this subject as we go through the season..
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