Hey there folks, here we are two weeks before Thanksgiving!

Here are some of the questions and concerns that come up before the holidays:

Are you dreading going through the holidays with your addicted loved one?

Or, if your loved one is in recovery do you both dread facing family functions/festivities that include family rituals that do not support your recovery?

Are you tired of feeling obligated to fulfill other people’s expectations of you?

Do you feel alone, unappreciated, and as if no one listens to your opinions wants and dreams?

Do you shut down emotionally to protect yourself emotionally, when faced with difficult situations?

Do you want to change certain people, places and things?

You are not alone!  During this time of year, many people begin to feel anxious, while others fear and dread the holiday season because of painfully unpleasant memories and associations they hold.  Although you cannot change all of this overnight – there is always room for hope! 

You can begin to envision the kind of holiday you would like to have this year.

You can choose what you do, and who you share your time with this year.  

If you are in early recovery, with your loved one it is important to discuss and make decisions concerning the following issues:

Let’s start with Thanksgiving:

Where are you?  Meaning are you going to host Thanksgiving at your home this year? 

Who is with you?  Do you have children to consider?

What food are you or others cooking and eating?

Are you comfortable with alcohol in your home and on your table?

If not – whom do you need to notify that there will be no alcohol in your home?

How are you spending the day?

The evening and the weekend?

If you are guest at a family Thanksgiving meal, will there be alcohol served?  Are you comfortable with that?

Have you discussed and decided on an exit plan for when you need to leave a function?

Do you have something fun or meaningful to look forward to waiting for you at home?

Now let’s move on to Christmas:

Things to consider might be: 

What do you usually do on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and the following days or weekend?

What do you wish you could change this year?

Are you afraid to disappoint other people?

Think about these questions to see if the answers to any of them may be influencing your attitude towards the holidays.

You can respond with any comments or questions in an email to me.  This way you will not be revealing your identity on my blog.